whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize