I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
