I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
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He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
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Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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