How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize