I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You are a genius and a whore.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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