Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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