need another drink. this is the easiest way
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
