the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
