before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
