the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
