he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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