Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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