Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Sober January is a disaster.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
