I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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