Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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