Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I will be naked everywhere
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize