the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
