he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
