Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
May the power of my ass compel you!!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
