also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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