We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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