Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
