made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
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You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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