Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
sarcasm needs its own font
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
