My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
