Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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