guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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