I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
