so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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