Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize