oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
