Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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