I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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