Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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