I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
