where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
