everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
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I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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