Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
