I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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