There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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