did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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