Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
