Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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