Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
