I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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