I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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