Do you still have your period?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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