i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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