rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
