cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it glows. i had to have it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
