Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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