so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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