He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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