Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
