but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
