READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
