Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
