so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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