You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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