Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
