I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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