They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize