I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
