I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
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I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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