I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
